20 Things Not To Do At A Funeral
by Mercy'sFoundaWayforMe
Summary: Me and my friend decided to make a random list of things not to do at the funeral, and later I decided to write a story based on it. Rated T because I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and I never will ):

Chapter 1

_Record someone shouting "BAZINGA!", hide it in a tree near the preacher, and sometime during the service remote-activate the recording to go off._

"Remind me what I'm doing here again?" Sirius asked as he helped James set up chairs for the funeral of some random relative of James' that he couldn't care less about.

"You're being a good friend, and helping me through this incredibly dull time,"

"Then why don't we liven it up a bit?" Sirius asked mischievously.

"And we're gonna do this how?" But James' face had lit up at the fact this funeral might not be as dull as he had previously though.

"Well, remember how we heard that 4th year talking about some muggle contraption called a recorder?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, I went out and bought a few this summer. I thought they might come in useful sometime. So I figured we could record something, then randomly set if off during the funeral,"

"Padfoot, you are brilliant! Bloody brilliant!"

"I know," Sirius said, smirking as they headed back to James' room.

When they got there, Sirius went over to his trunk, and pulled out a few black recorders. After the boys finally figured out how to work them, they each recorded them and went to put them around where the preacher would be speaking.

Later during the ceremony when the preacher was in the middle of a particularly boring speech, James and Sirius nodded to each other, and reached for their wands. They mumbled a quiet spell and then, "BAZINGA! BAZINGA! BAZINGAAAAAAAAA!" was heard all throughout the place. One lady even fell of her seat.

"Padfoot," James said turning to his friend.

"Yes Prongs?"

"This has got to be the best funeral EVER!"

**Yes I am doing another story. Don't worry, this one won't affect my updating "Yo Mama". I just felt like doing this. Please review and tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. That's all J.K Rowling.**

Chapter 2

_Press the "That's what she said" app on your iPhone in a strategic time in the service._

A package dropped in front of a very surprised Remus Lupin. The other 3 Marauders surrounded him as he ripped open the packaging, revealing a new iPhone.

"What's that?"

"No clue but it looks freaking AWESOME! Moony can I see it?"

"Oh leave Moony alone Padfoot."

"I was just wondering wha.."

"Oh shut up everyone," Remus cut in, looking pointedly at Sirius.

"This is an iPhone. It's a phone, and you can listen to music, and," seeing the expressions on his friend's faces he stopped.

"I'm doing a bad job of explaining, aren't I?" The three boys nodded in agreement.

"I'll show you when we get back to the common room,"

Later, after breakfast the Remus showed them how to work it, and tried to explain it the best he could.

Months passed by, and life went on as normal. Then just before Christmas break, Remus got a letter from his parents explaining that he needed to come home as his great aunt has just passed away.

At the funeral, Remus suddenly had brilliant idea. Sirius had insisted on downloading an app that would say, "That's what she said," whenever it was set off. At random times during the funeral, he would set it off. People looked around to see if they could see the source of it, but Remus was at the back, and no one really noticed him. The preacher looked very flustered though; his face was beet red. Remus smirked to himself, James and Sirius would be very amused.

_Give out party invitations_

A hush fell over the Great Hall as Dumbledore got up to speak.

"I'm sure this will come as a surprise to many of you, but Filch's cat, died. There will be a funeral for it tomorrow and I expect all of you to be there." He looked sternly at everyone in the room. A buzz filled it, as friends began talking to each other.

"LIGHTBULB!" James randomly shouted, causing most of the people at the Gryffindor table to look at him. He ignored them and said more quietly this time,

"Ok so, everyone's going to be happy that freakish cat is gone so we hand out party invitations!"

"Brilliant!" Peter said as he high fived James. Sirius started to leave the table.

"We're you going mate?"

"Well we need to get those invites ready don't we?" With that the other 4 boys got up and started to get to work.

That night, they handed them out, and had them put on the notice board in every common room. James and Sirius were sneaking back to the common room after leaving a stack of invitations in the library when they heard it.

"POTTER AND BLACK!" Filch could be heard yelling.

"Guess we'd better get out of here,"

"Right on mate," The two friends donned James' invisibility cloaked, and sneaked back towards their common room. They grinned at each other before heading to bed. Tomorrow would be interesting.

**Ok so the reason I got another chapter up so soon was that I flunked a history quiz and now I can't have any electronics until the next quiz, which at the least will be 2 weeks, but most likely 3 or 4. Unless of course, a Christmas miracle happens. Sorry. Please don't hate me.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Not even a Christmas miracle can change that ): **

Chapter 3

_Buy a disco ball and start dancing_

"A lot of people seem to be dying," Sirius remarked dryly as he reread the letter his mother had sent him.

"Who is it?"

"Some random 2nd cousin twice removed or something. Mum said I could bring a friend or two,"

"She's actually letting you bring home a friend?"

"She believes it'll keep me quiet and out of trouble," At that the 4 boys burst out laughing, Peter not quite sure what was happening but laughing along anyways.

"So you guys wanna come?" James acted as if he was thinking a great deal about the subject then seeing Sirius' face he's face broke into a grin.

"Did you really think I'd say no?"

"What about you guys?"

"When is it?"

"This weekend,"

"Sure," Remus nodded.

"Peter?"

Aw what the heck? Sure," Sirius' face immediately lit up at the fact that his four best friends would be with him, and that he wouldn't have to face it alone.

_._._._

"LIGHTBULB!" Sirius yelled as they stood waiting for the Knight Bus in Hogsmead. The other 3 boys who were used to his sudden outbursts and exclamations, were not at all surprised by this.

"And what is this brilliant idea that is sure to cause mayhem?"

"Actually I just saw a lightbulb…" James groaned.

"I should've known…."

"But that reminds me… someone gave me a disco ball one year for Christmas."

"We should hang it up at the funeral and start dancing," Remus suggested, jokingly. But Sirius and James took him seriously.

"You are a genius! Why they didn't put you in Ravenclaw I'll never know…"

"Cause he's too awesome to be in Ravenclaw?"

"That's it. That's defiantly it." Remus just slapped his forehead and mumbled,

"I need to get new friends..."

_._._._

Number 12 Grimmauld Place was dark when they reached it. The 4 marauders entered, and were surprised by the number of people in it.

Mrs. Black came and greeted them, very surprised by the fact the Sirius actually bothered to come. She had them all change into formal robes, and then made them go in and talk to people. Well, she made Sirius, but James and Peter came with him. Remus, whom most people considered to be the only one with a functioning brain out of the four boys, was chosen to set up the disco ball. He wasn't quite sure how he did it, but he managed to install it into the ceiling of the room where the funeral was to be held the next day. He also connected it to a remote control so that one of them could control the disco ball, and lower it from the ceiling.

He gave his friends a thumbs up when he walked into the room where everyone was mingling.

"I guess that means you did it?" James asked quietly, walking along side him. Remus just nodded his head.

"This is going to be bloody brilliant!" Sirius exclaimed, coming up on the other side of Remus.

"Where's Peter?"

"Oh he's off somewhere getting food,"

"Do you think we'll be missed if we head up to your room?"

"Nah. Half the people here are delusional," James and Remus stared at him.

"What? To actually enjoy the company of my mum you've GOT to be delusional,"

"Good point," They found Peter and dragging him away from all the food, went up to Sirius's room.

"How much you wanna bet we're gonna get busted?" Sirius just grinned impishly.

They stayed up well into the night playing exploding snap. It was only after Peter started falling asleep and nearly had his face blown off that the four marauders decided to head to bed.

_._._._

They were awaken by the shouts of a very angry Mrs. Black.

"Sirius Orion Black get your lazy butt down here right now! The funeral starts in 20 minutes. If you don't get down here in 2 minutes…" Her voice faded as the four boys covered their heads with their pillows.

"YOU WON'T GET ANY BREAKFAST!" That caught their attention.

"Coming!" One of them yelled as they all hurried into their robes. They rushed down the stairs, not wanting to miss the food. They each grabbed a piece of toast and bacon before they were kicked out of the dining area and taken into the funeral room.

About halfway through the service Peter had begun to fall asleep, and Sirius was bored out of his mind. Deciding that this would be the perfect time to set off the disco ball, he pulled the remote out of his pocket and had the ball of light lowered.

James then got up and started singing,

_I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night__  
That tonight's gonna be a good night__  
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night__  
__  
A feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night__  
That tonight's gonna be a good night__  
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night_

Sirius and Remus started dancing like crazy. Even Peter woke up and started to do a weird little jig.

Everyone all around was starting, some fuming, but a couple laughing their heads off.

"SIRIUS!" Mrs. Black screamed, her face red with fury as the four boys stopped, and ran out of the room.

**And thus concludes chapter 3. I'm sort of running out of ideas for funerals and who should die and such, so if you have any ideas please review. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: J.K Rowling hasn't decided to give me the rights so I guess there's nothing I can do.**

Chapter 4

_Randomly start throwing candy at the audience and preacher_

Remus walked in to the common to find James and Sirius sitting next to a crying Peter.

"Whoa. What happened?" Peter muttered something through sobs.

"That sucks man," Remus said as he looked to James and Sirius for an explanation. He hadn't understood a thing Peter said, but that wasn't uncommon. Peter had been crying a lot lately.

"His cousin died," Sirius mouthed,

"Ohhhhh," No one said for a while after that, the first in a long time at least one of the four Marauders wasn't speaking. Finally Peter was able to stop sobbing and managed to choke out,

"The funeral's in a week. You guys coming?"

"Sure mate,"

"Definatly,"

"Why would we not? Someone needs to be awesome there," James and Remus shot Sirius a look.

"What?"

"Oh never mind…"

Later that week, a day before the funeral James, Remus and Peter were all in Peter's room when Sirius came bouncing in the door.

"You look high…"

"I found this great bag of candy!" With that Sirius threw the bag on the bed.

"This is muggle candy!" Sirius nodded smugly. Remus's eyes were wide as he looked at the bag.

"ROLOS!" He exclaimed, pulling a few round foiled covered candies.

"What are rolos?"

"They're this slightly bigger than bite-sized pieces of caramel covered in chocolate. They are freaking AWESOME!"

"Hahaha calm down Moony…"

It was that moment that Sirius came up with an awesome idea.

"Heeeey. We all know this is going to be incredibly boring right?"

"Padfoot, it's a bloody funeral,"

"You're point is?" Remus just shook his head.

"Ok so," The four friends huddled up and started forming a plan.

Everyone was in the backyard for the funeral. The four boys were sitting in the front row, being surprising well behave. Or so everyone though…

The preacher got up to begin speaking. After a few minutes of droning on and on, the boys decided they couldn't take it.

"Ok, I know we planned to do this later, but I'm going to die,"

"Oh stop being such a drama queen,"

"Do YOU want to listen to all of this?"

"…no,"

"Point proven. Let's do this! HIGH FIVE!"

"Dude… we're at a funeral,"

"Right. Solemn low-five," The four boys low-fived, and reached under their chairs for the bags of candy.

"Ok so, Prongs, you get the preacher, and the rest of us will get the audience. Got it?" Sirius managed to actually whisper as he turned his head to face his friends sitting next to him. They nodded their heads and set their plan into action.

"CANDAAAAAAAAAAAY!" James shouted as he threw candy and chocolate at the preacher, waking many people who had taken the opportunity to take a quick nap.

The other 3 boys flung candy into the audience, jumping up and down. They were having an altogether lovely time. That is until a couple adult started walking towards them, obviously very very mad.

"Run!" With that the four boys took off running back to Peter's room, not quite sure what they would do when they got there.

"How you much you wanna bet they think we're high?"

"Oh shut up Sirius…"

**So far this is probably one of my favorite chapters. And I don't actually know if Rolos existed then, or if wizards even had muggle candy, but I've heard Remus is a half-blood, and loves chocolate so he's the most likely out of the 4 to try Rolos. If that made sense… ANYWHO, please please review. It'd make my day. No, it'd make my week. Reviews are awesome like that.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Alas, I don't own Harry Potter ):**

Chapter 5

_Start yelling, "IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVEEE!"_

"Did you guys hear what happened to Alice?" James rushed over to his friends in the great hall.

"No. What?"

"Something happened?"

"Nope,"

"Well, Frank said that Alice told him that her frog died,"

"FINALLY! That thing was bloody annoying,"

"Sirius! She loved that frog," Remus rebuked, yet at the same time quite glad the frog was gone. It was always running away and ending up in the boy's dorms. Specifically Sirius's bed. Now that that he actually thought about it, Remus was going to miss that frog. Sirius was actually kind of afraid of it, (he would not admit it though,) which made it all the funnier.

"Is she gonna have a funeral?" Peter asked. He was probably the only Marauder who genuinely like Alice's frog.

"Mhm," James nodded. He held out 4 invitations. Well, they were really just pieces of paper stating the time and place. The other 3 boys each took one, and looked at it briefly before stuffing it in their pockets.

"So… we got anything planned for this here um… funeral?"

"Well, I was thinking maybe we could…" The Marauders formed a huddle, and began discussing random ideas. Wishing they had the privacy of their dorm, but all too hungry to leave the great hall and the abundant supply of food.

It took then a while before they came up with an idea. 3 days to be exact but they were quite proud of what they came up with. Now all they had to do was make it till the funeral…

Not that many people ended up going, only Alice's friends and a few other Gryffindors with nothing better to do that day.

It wasn't exactly a funeral per say, but more of a burial. Alice's frog was in a shoebox someone found, near a hole. Everyone there was standing around the frog in the box, and Alice was about to stick the box in the ground when Sirius screamed.

"IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVEEEEEEE! THE FROG IS ALIVE!" A couple kids started screaming when they realized one tiny fact. It was Sirius Black who was screaming. He's probably cried wolf more times than the actual kid who cried wolf. That was when Alice proceeded to beat him up. Well, she tried to. It really just ended up with James and Remus pushing them both into the lake. And then getting pushed in themselves. It was safe to say probably the coolest funeral/burial ever.

**Ok so I don't really like this chapter. This is my 3****rd**** time trying and I really wanted to get a new chapter up. I'm super super sorry this isn't that great and I'll do my best to make the next chapter way awesomer. **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: You seriously think all this is mine?**

_State that your favorite band is The Killers_

"WHY? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?" Everyone in the Great Hall turned and looked at 4 boys: James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

"Calm down mate,"

"Yeah don't get your boxers in a twist,"

"I thought you didn't even like him,"

"Peter don't be so insensitive!" Remus admonished before saying,

"But seriously,"

"Yeah mate?"

"Oh shut up Sirius. As I was going to say before someone rudely interrupted me," He continued, glaring at Sirius.

"Well,"

"Don't even start. Anyways, what I was going to say is, Peter has a point. I thought you hated him.

"I do. It's the fact I have to go to his bloody funeral,"

"Ohhhhhhh," The other three marauders said at once.

"LIGHTBULB!" Sirius exclaimed, an evil glint in his eye, and pulled his three best friends into a huddle.

"So, this is what you're going to do…"

James really didn't know why he was here. He knew this was mean, but he really couldn't care less. The only thing that even remotely comforted him was that he was going to be able to cause a great deal of chaos and trouble. That and the fact the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin quidditch match was in a few weeks and he'd get the chance to kick some Slytherin butt.

"JAMES!" He heard his mom yell somewhere from inside the house, and he muttered darkly to himself as he walked inside.

"Probably wants me to try on some more bloody dress robes,"

Turns out she just needed help moving chairs. For a moment James felt slightly guilty, but then he remembered. He was missing Hogsmeade for the funeral of someone he didn't even like.

"Great. Just great," He started feeling sorry for himself, and then once again thought of what Sirius came up with. He grinned to him, plotting out the details in his mind. This was going to be one hell of a wedding.

"Now does anyone want to say a few words about the deceased?" The preacher asked. James waited till a couple people had gone up before he slowly made his way up to the podium.

"Um, I have something I would like to say," He could see his parents beaming, especially his mom. They knew how much James hated him, so they were quite proud that he got up to speak. He took a deep breath.

"My favorite band is 'The Killers'." He heard a few people gasp, and a few more giggling.

"JAMES POTTER COME BACK HERE!" He could hear his dad bellowing. He turned around, and saw his dad a bit behind him, hands on his knees and panting. James stopped for a moment and grinned at his dad before continuing to run. He didn't know how his parents would punish him, but it would be worth it. He took one last look before disappearing into the house.

**Ok so what do you think? I'm really sorry I haven't updated this story in a long time and I wanted to thank everyone who's still going to read this. SO THANK YOU (: Now I have to announcement thingies. First off is please please check out the survey for my other story, Yo Mama on my profile. So far only one person has done it. Thanks in advance to anyone who goes and actually does it. I LOVE YOU GUYS (:**

**Secondly, I would really like a beta reader. So if anyone's interested PM me or something. THANK YOU (: **


	7. Chapter 7

**Sadly this is not mine ): And thanks to chadders for being an incredibly awesome beta (:**

Chapter 7

_Chop off the dead person's head and tell them that congratulations, they get to join the Headless Hunt._

"Gah! I can't believe there's bloody funeral. Again,"

"Calm down mate,"

"Yeah Sirius, don't you think you're over re-acting just a wee bit?" Peter asked, moving closer to James. He was already beginning to regret ever saying. Siding with someone other than Sirius in an argument Sirius is in is never a good idea.

"I have to go to a funeral, at a house full of my relatives, and listen to some random dude get up, and list all the great things that my great aunt has done. She hasn't done ANYTHING. And besides that, my mum's still pissed at me for that little disco ball thing we pulled,"

"It was brilliant though!"

"James, you do realize we ruined the ceiling?"

"So?"

"Would _you're_ parents be happy if you ruined_ their _ceiling?" Remus stopped James and Sirius' banter, even if it was only for a moment. He knew that they would continue it until something else came along and distracted them.

"…No"

"I didn't think so,"

"Moony, I appreciate that, I really do, BUT I STILL HAVE THAT BLOODY FUNERAL!"

"Padfoot really doesn't want to go does he?" Peter leaned towards Remus and asked.

"No! Really?" Almost anyone else would've picked up on the sarcasm dripping from Remus' voice, and normally Peter would have too, but right then, he was having one of his blonde moments. Sirius just kept on ranting and ranting, and by about 3rd period he had got it out of his system.

Later that day, the four friends were up in the common room, doing homework. Well, Remus was doing homework, Peter was TRYING to do homework, and James and Sirius were playing a very intense game of exploding snap.

"LIGHTBULB!" Remus suddenly shouted, almost jumping out of his chair right as one of the exploding snap cards exploded.

"Merlin Moony! You almost made my loose an eyebrow!"

"…You're a wizard. That goes to a school for wizards and witches,"

"And that matters why?"

"You could just re-grow your eyebrow? You know with magic?"

"…Right. I knew that..."

"Suuuuuuure you did," Remus said with a smirk on his face.

"_Anyways_, what I was going to say was that at the funeral, Padfoot here could chop off his great-aunt's head, and be like, 'Congratulations! You get to join the headless hunt,'" James and Sirius looked up at him in awe.

"See? This is why you're a Marauder!"

"Moony, that is brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!" James exclaimed, almost in awe. And with that, the four boys known as The Marauders started planning everything out.

"Does anyone want to say a few words?" Sirius jerked his head up. _Well, I guess this is it._ He thought to himself. He grabbed the sword he nicked off a suit of armor at Hogwarts and walked up to the podium. He stood for a few seconds, making sure that he had everyone's attention before starting. In one swift motion he swung the sword from behind and chopped his great aunt's head off. He could heard everyone in the room gasp before a strange, almost frightening silence filled the room. He could see his mother turning red with rage.

"Aunt Cassy," He said, turning towards the now headless corpse.

"Congratulations. You get to join the headless hunt. Oh and mum, you really should've been in Gryffindor. You look just stunning in red," With that he started running towards the fire place, reaching into his pocket for the floo powder he had hidden there earlier. He looked back one last time before stepping into the fireplace. He knew next summer would be hell.

**Alright so, the first time I uploaded this I forgot to add my authors note and disclaimer and all that fun stuff. So I decided to re-upload the chapter and do it right this time. So this is my first beta-ed chapter up. I hope you like it! Please please review people. It'll make my day and take my mind off my history essay. **

**Another thing: Thanks to Penguin-LoverX for pointing out that Dorea was actually James' mom. So I decided to change it. The person who is dead in this chapter is Cassiopeia Black. I just figured Sirius would call her Cassy (:**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Sadly, nothing recognizable is mine ): And a shout out to chadders for being such an awesome beta (: Go check out her story, "Diary of a Misunderstood Potter". It's amazing (:**

Chapter 8

_Get up on the platform thing and say, "THEY AREN'T DEAD! THE ALIENS TOOK THEM!"_

"You know those giant circle things I found in the field near my house this summer?" Peter spoke, breaking the silence in the common room.

"You live by a field?" Sirius asked surprised, and then winced as Remus punched him and glared.

"…I knew that."

"Well, I think I knew how they got there. I was reading this muggle book about aliens, and they mentioned this thing called crop circles. And they look exactly like those circle things I found in the field!" Peter excitedly pulled out a book from his book bag and opened it to the page on crop circles, shoving it under the other three marauders' faces.

"I think that's a load of crap Wormy."

"Hold on now Prongs. How do you know we aren't the only life forms in existence?"

"Oh don't tell me you believe in aliens too Moony, I thought you were the reasonable one."

"I mean think about it. There are so many planets, there's bound to be something out there."

"Moony, I think if aliens did exist, they would've come down and eaten our brains already." Sirius said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Sirius, have you ever considered they might be peaceful?"

"…oh."

"LIGHTBULB!" James practically screamed, jumping up from his seat and sending tons of unfinished homework flying in the process.

"What James?"

"I think I just have an idea for our next prank…" He started explaining his idea as the other boys drew in closer, listening intently.

It was just like any other evening. The four houses were at their tables, eating, except, it was unusually quiet. Sure, friends were talking and laughing, but four boys were missing. A couple of the Professors noticed this, but didn't say anything. They decided to just accept things, and enjoy an evening free of the Marauders.

The seeming calm Great Hall was soon disrupted when the doors opened and smoked entered, filling the room. As it cleared, 4 shapes began to form, and soon green skin, and large eyes could be made out on the creatures. A couple of the muggleborns began running around and screaming, "WE'RE BEING TAKEN OVER BY ALIENS!" The rest of the young witches and wizards just stood there, most in shock.

"Greeting Earthlings." One of the green human like beings said.

"We come in peace." another said, holding up his hand.

"AND THEN WE SHALL RIP YOUR BRAINS OUT AND MAKE JUICE!" The third one screamed, before one of them covered its mouth. There was a brief silence before chaos ensued. Many of the younger students started crying, and a good deal of the girls started screaming. A couple of the guys ran towards the aliens, trying to tackle them, but the aliens escaped, and locked the doors behind them.

They began running towards the Gryffindor tower, slowly ripping their faces off as they ran. By the time they were at the portrait of the Fat Lady, it was apparent that in fact, there had been no aliens, but 4 teenage boys. They grinned at each other before heading to the showers to remove any trace of the green latex Remus has charmed to cover their faces.

A few months had come and gone, and the students of Hogwarts soon began to forget the alien incident had ever happened. Life carried on as normal until a couple of the first years died in a freak accident. Everyone gathered outside for their funeral, shocked that such a thing would happen. For the first time in a who knows how long, Hogwarts was actually quite morbid and gloomy. All was quiet, the students paying their respects. That is, until one boy known as Peter Pettigrew ran up onto the platform.

"THEY AREN'T DEAD. THE ALIENS TOOK THEM!" He shouted before jumping off the stage, and running into the castle.

**So far this is probably my favorite chapter. I don't know why, it just is (: annnnnd, reviews are like cookies. They're incredibly good. SO PLEASE REVIEW (: and a shout out to all my steady reviewers. You people =awesome sauce (:**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: If I was J.K Rowling, there would already be a series about the Marauders out. **

**I just wanna give a big shout out to everyone who reviews this story. You guys are awesome (: And I would like to thank my amazing beta, chadders, who does a great job every single time (: Go check out her stories. They're just as amazing as she is.**

Chapter 9

_Play "Party My House, Be There" by MxPx_

"_Lily, will you go out with me?" James asked as he held a single white lily out to the girl in front of him._

"_James Potter I would love to!" She squealed and jumped into his arms, then leaned in to kiss him…_

"WAKEY WAKEY JAMES! IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUT!" Sirius jumped onto his friend's bed.

"Sirius…" James growled, as he turned over and tried to go back to sleep, back to his dream.

"But I wanted to show you something…"

"How are you even up right now?"

"I think he's high" Remus muttered, sitting up in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Prepare to be amazed!" Exclaimed Sirius as he pointed his wand towards a modified speaker and mumbled something under his breath.

'_It's about time for a party at my house __  
__And it wouldn't be the same without you __  
__No not at all as I recall __  
__You've got what I need' _was soon blaring and Sirius took that as his cue to start dancing.

"…You woke me up for this? I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A BLOODY FANTASTIC DREAM?" James yelled, then jumped on Sirius and the two boys were soon wrestling on the floor. Remus looked over the still sleeping Peter, oblivious to all the commotion around him.

"How does he do that?" he asked himself, amazed, as he grabbed a clean pair of boxers and pants and headed to the bathroom.

"GET DOWN FROM THERE!" James rushed towards the sound of Lily's voice, quite surprised actually that she had found someone else to yell at. Even as a prefect, she'd normally just give this really stern, really disappointed look and spoke in a very quiet voice. It was actually quite scary. Still, he prided himself in the fact that he was the only one who could get her to scream. Naturally, Sirius followed him, wanting to see what all the commotion was about.

"GET DOWN FROM THERE OR YOU'RE GOING TO GET HURT!"

"So THAT'S what she was yelling," James whispered as he and Sirius looked up. There was a crazy first year on a broom he had snuck in, despite the strict rule that no first years were allowed to bring their own brooms to Hogwarts.

"You have to admit though, he IS brilliant," Sirius whispered back.

"Why didn't we think of doing that?"

"That's why." James muttered as he watched the first year lose control of the broom.

"Someone get a teacher!" Lily ordered as he started to fall. Soon McGonagall arrived and was able to cast a spell that gently lowered him to the ground. James and Sirius, curious as they were, started to walk away.

"Hey did you hear about that kid?" Remus asked later that evening.

"What kid?"

"The one who fell of his broom and died," Peter informed them.

"…He didn't die. Prongsy here and I saw him fall. McGonagall did something to save him,"

"Well, apparently he loved flying so much that he couldn't wait till the next flying lesson so he snuck out and took a broom from the broom shed,"

"No kidding?" James asked, looking ashen.

"Nope." The four boys sat still, being unusually grave.

"LIGHTBULB!" Remus suddenly burst out as he jumped up.

"HEY THAT'S MY LINE!" accused Sirius as he started wiping up the ink he had spilled in fright.

"So what's this supposed brilliant idea?"

"Oh I didn't have an idea. I just thought it would lighten the mood,"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah that's me,"

"Oh shut up Sirius. And yeah James,"

"Our boy's growing up Prongsy," James looked at Sirius, who was doing his best to act like a mother. And failing.

"I have got to find new friends," Remus muttered to himself.

The next day it was announced that the funeral would be held in a couple days.

"You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Sirius asked at lunch, looking at the other three Marauders.

"You really want me to answer that?" Peter retorted, believing it impossible to ever know what Sirius was thinking.

"Well," he started, pulling them all in closer and started to explain his idea.

Everyone was outside, sitting before a giant stage that had been set up for the funeral. Dumbledore has just started speaking when fog started rolling onto the stage, The curtain the old headmaster had been standing in front of started to raise, as an electric guitar started playing.

_It's about time for a party at my house _could soon be heard blaring. As the fog cleared, the marauders could be seen onstage, Peter on drums, James playing bass, Sirius with an electric guitar and Remus on the keyboard, surprisingly the one with the mic stand in front of him.

_And it wouldn't be the same without you,  
No not at all as I recall,  
You've got what I need ,_

The teachers started running towards them, yelling at them to get off the stage and threatening them with detentions. But even as the four boys leapt off the stage and started running, everyone in the audience could still hear: _It's about time for a party at my__ house. _That one line playing over and over again.

"You have got to do something Dumbledore!" McGonagall exclaimed.

"Yes I suppose I will," he muttered, but with a twinkle in his eye. "I suppose I will…"

**And that is the end of that (: Please don't add this story to favorites or on your story alerts without reviewing. For some reason, I'm not getting any alerts, so I don't know if you DO add this to favorites or story alerts. Even after I switched all my notifications on. All it takes is 2 seconds. I want to know what you think about the story, what you liked about it, what you thought was funny, what i can improve upon, that kind of stuff.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

_Die. _

"What's with funerals? I mean it's not like people even care most of the time," Sirius mumbled as he finished reading yet another letter from his mom, stating that some relative had died.

"Well, people normally want to honor the dead person," Remus began.

"Yeah well, my whole family are death eaters. They don't actually deserve honor,"

"Who doesn't deserve honor?" James asked as he walked into the dorm, sweat dripping off him due to the laps he had just ran around the Quidditch pitch.

"In general? My family. Specifically? My uncle. I think he worked for Voldemort. And I need to go to his bloody funeral," Sirius looked like he wanted to punch something. James and Remus scooted towards the wall away from Sirius, each of them being rather fond of their front teeth.

"You could always not go," James mentioned.

"I kinda have to…"

"Since when have you cared about what your family expects you to do?" Sirius glared at James, fully prepared to hit his best friend.

"My mum threatened to cut my balls off the next time she saw me if I didn't come,"

"Die then,"

"…Are you freaking serious?"

"He doesn't mean actually die," Remus decided to intervene before either one of the boys started attempting to kill the other.

"Exactly. Just pretend to die. That should give your mum a heart attack,"

"Besides, no one likes a spotlight stealer,"

"What's a spotlight?" James and Sirius asked unanimously.

"It's a… Oh never mind," Remus began to explain, but saw in his mind it would only result in James and Sirius causing even more chaos than they already do.

"What could I… OH LIGHTBULB!" Sirius jumped off the bed, and ran out the room to begin plotting by himself. Normally this was something he would do with the other Marauders, but this time he needed to do it himself.

"So how'd it go?"

"What happened?"

"Did your mum really threaten to cut your balls off?" A bombard of questions hit Sirius as he walked into the common room, having just gotten back from the funeral.

"Bloody awesome, I think my mom almost DID have a heart attack, and yes she did," Sirius answered in one breath as he dropped his bag onto the ground and slumped into the couch, making Remus's homework fall to the ground.

"What exactly did you do?" Peter asked.

"I got there right as the funeral started and about 5 minutes in, I collapsed on the floor pretending to be dead," Sirius mentioned as if he was simply talking about what he had for lunch.

"Brilliant mate. What did everyone else do?"

"They all ran around screaming. I think someone tried to dump me into the grave too. Then I twitched,"

"…But you were supposed to be dead,"

"Well, sometimes dead people twitch,"

"He's right," Remus confirmed, although he was quite surprised Sirius actually knew that.

"After that everyone ran away. And I was FREEEEEEEEEEEEE" Sirius jumped off the couch, and spread his arms, as if to fly. All he actually succeeded in doing was falling face first onto the floor.

"Dumbass,"

"I HEARD THAT," Sirius lunged towards James, tackling him onto the floor.

"Do you think we should do something?" Peter asked, thinking that Remus and he were going to have to go to another funeral.

"Nah, we don't have our O. for another two years," Remus said as he set his homework aside. "Besides, this should be interesting…"

**Please don't kill me *hides behind her desk*. As you can obviously tell, I finally put up a new chapter :D Since my finals are done soon, I'll try to update more regularly, but since my summer is looking pretty busy, I'm not sure what I'll be able to do. ****  
****  
Thanks to my amazingly awesome beta chadders, go check out her story **_**The Diary of a Misunderstood Potter.**_** It's awesome. Also, I've just really gotten into photography lately, and so I've started putting pictures up on flickr **** (****http:/ www. /photos/ abbyyyk ,without the spaces)****so if you could check those out and comment about what you think and everything that would be amazing (: **

**Like always please don't forget to review and stuff. I know I haven't been very consistent in updating, but review motivates me to update ;v**


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